Recently I have been thinking about a particular dynamic that fills in some of the detail about Nouwen’s concept of hospitality, understood as the creation of free unconditional space for the other. I am thinking about two related practices: offering and invitation.

This week I was walking my 8-year old granddaughter, Pippa to school. The day before, they had had art. They had been making a big paper mache figure and now it was time to paint it.

Pippa tells me that most of the kids had ideas for little bits and pieces, like stars and other logo-like additions. But she could imagine sweeping swirls of multiple colours all across the sculpture. I don’t know if her suggestion was accepted or not, but it prompted a conversation between us that went roughly like this…

G: Pippa, can I talk with you about something I have been thinking about the last couple of days?

P: Sure!

G: I’ve been thinking about how important it is that we offer things. Like…you had an idea for painting the sculpture. It was very different from everybody else’s ideas. But you went ahead and offered it to the teacher and the class.
This is what I’m thinking… if you hadn’t offered it, how would the teacher know what you were thinking? If you didn’t offer your idea, what would the sculpture be without it?

I could see Pippa processing these thoughts in her mind.

G: When you offered your idea, whether the teacher and the class were able to picture what you pictured in your head, or whether they would agree with what you were imagining – that’s another thing. The main thing was offering your idea in the first place.

Pippa agrees.

G: So if you were the teacher, how would you get the kids in your class to offer their ideas?

P: I’d just ask everyone.

G: OK…So the teacher has to invite everyone to offer their suggestions. Can you see that if the teacher doesn’t invite everyone, there can be no offers? Because only the teacher has the power to invite.

I can see Pippa’s mind at work making sense of all this and already entertaining all kinds of scenarios. But we have come to the school gate and one of her friends has rushed up to give her a hug.

G: Time for my hug, Pips, and I’ll see you this afternoon!

P: Thanks Grandpa!

Not offering is a crime against humanity. But not inviting (into a safe and empowering space) is a far worse crime – an abuse of power.
Discuss.